Stich after stich after stich after. . .

I've been crocheting for about two years. I've followed a couple of patterns, but I have also made up my own. Mostly, my projects have been an exploration of this craft and using the medium of yarn to make an art form. Crochet is an art and the act of crocheting is a craft. One of the things I'm learning is that mistakes happen. And most of the time, a mistake happened about two or more rows ago by the time I find it.

I've been working on my largest project yet. I'm making a wrap for my former boss, Sherrie. I've been working on it for a few weeks now. I work on it while watching the news. I carry it with me and get a few stitches in whenever I'm a passenger in the car. At swim lessons, I can get through a row and a half while the husband and kid are blowing bubbles and doing Tigger bounces.

I'm really enjoying the look and feel of this wrap and I think it will be beautiful when it's finished. I've put about four skeins (balls) of yarn into it and have had times where I've had to undo a row or two to fix a mistake I'd just noticed. I worked on it last night for a bit and boy, oh boy, if I didn't just find another mistake. In the second row. Holy cow, that's thousands of stitches back. I'd have to unravel almost four skeins of yarn and several weeks of work to fix it. I put the crochet needle down and stared at this pile of work in my lap.

I couldn't even imagine starting over. I just about cried with the thought of having to undo all of this work to make the wrap perfect. Then, I sat back and looked at it and realized that I must have missed another mistake somewhere else because this last row I was working on wouldn't end in the right place for the turning row. So, what to do? Unravel four skeins of yarn and start over? No. That would break my heart and I probably wouldn't be able to start over. All of that work for nothing? That made me sad. So, I made a decision instead. I decided to insert a mistake to make things work out.

I decided that imperfection is perfectly all right. If anyone who sees this garment on the wearer notices a couple of stitches that aren't perfectly spaced, then they would probably be standing too close to Sherrie in the first place. The mistakes in this wrap also prove that it was hand-made, by a beginner no doubt, but still hand-made.

I discovered an interesting chain of feelings while I processed all of this. The feelings of pride and achievement that come with investing your time and energy in a tangible product. A satisfaction that comes from engaging creative energy. The fear and doubt that the product may not be worthy of appreciation. The control of taking charge and making decisions. The best part, though, is that I feel empowered by the acceptance of imperfection.

I'm not finished yet, I need a few more inches of width and I really hope she'll like it when it is finished. But it looks great so far - if you don't look too closely. I'll post pictures later when it's done.


Update: The finished project is here.